Saturday, August 30, 2008

Work, Marriage, and Other Realizations

I am enjoying a lazy weekend. I have the apartment to myself. I am relaxing. It feels good. I honestly haven't had much time to relax, well, this whole summer. I have made a promise to myself to be frugal enough this year so that I will be able to afford not to work next summer. I intend to have a summer of rest and relaxation. I only have a year to go. Yikes!

School is starting next week and the butterflies are flying around in my gut. A week ago I was so confident. My students did so well on the writing portion of the WASL. This week was another story. Have you ever known a person who just sucks away your confidence and everything that makes you feel good about yourself? There is a person in my life who is like this and unfortunately, I work in pretty close quarters with her. I know she means well, which makes thing worse. Being around her just makes me feel crappy about myself. I somehow need to get the confidence to move beyond the things that she says to me. In my heart and head I know that I am a good teacher. I'm not perfect, by any means. But I am improving every day and I think one day I will be a great teacher. I just need to keep repeating this in my head over and over again.

Two of my best friends got married last week. I am so incredibly happy for them! And just a little bit lonely. I will miss my single friends so much! Now they are my married friends. I still love them to death, but things will be different. I guess that's growing up for you. This woman at my work who I love noticed I was a little down last week and told me to not even thing about getting married until I'm 36. She said I should be enjoying my time to myself and encouraged me to go out and live my life to the fullest. That is what I have been doing and what I intend to continue to do. Sadness begone!

I just realized this post is a little depressing, which was not my intention. Everything in my life has been very good, and, as I continue to say, miles better than it was a year ago. I guess I am just looking for more; more fun, more excitement, more challenges. They are bound to come. After all, look at all that happened in the past year!