Crazy Horoscope

Read my horoscope for today. I nearly peed my pants...

There can be a big difference between the intense love you have to give and the easygoing love you get in return as the Full Moon joins extreme Pluto today in your 5th House of Self-Expression. Although it may be very clear to you, it's challenging to explain this to others. Transforming personal romance into spiritual devotion can be a helpful practice now as creative Venus enters your 12th House of Soul Consciousness.

Crazy!

The Last Day of School

So, today was THE LAST DAY OF SCHOOL! I cannot believe it is over for the school year. I was ready for it to be over, but I know I'm going to miss the kids so much. I have mixed feelings, which is so different from last year. Last year I was counting down the days, hours, minutes, and second until it was over. That's not the case this year. Sure, the kids aren't perfect. It's still an inner-city school with problems, but I still love it. That says a lot. I'm ready for the summer, but I'll be ready for the fall when it comes around again!

My New Signature Scent!

So, it suddenly occurred to me that I've been wearing the same perfume for about ten years now. I think it's time for a change. While there is nothing wrong with Clinique Happy, I just feel like it has gotten a little old and worn and predictable for me. My thoughts were confirmed when I went on my "date" yesterday and Melody asked me if I was going to wear perfume and I said "yes, Clinique Happy" and she made a face and told me to wear some of her more sexy perfume. So, today I went to U Village and went on a little shopping spree to cheer myself up from yesterday's awful date. The goal was to find my new scent.
Well, I must have spent about an hour at Sephora sniffing perfumes. I wanted something new, something sexy, yet subtle. Something innocent, yet seductive. ;) I didn't want anything predictable like Chanel #5 or Calvin Klein's Obsession. Nor did I want any of the new bestselling perfumes. I wanted something unique. And I found it, so don't steal it. Nanette Lepore. Don't steal it. It smells so good. It's going to be my new signature scent, so hands off!

I'm Freakin' Cute!

The most humiliating, embarrassing, insulting thing that can happen to a girl is to be rejected by a guy she didn't like in the first place. I went on a date with this guy named Matt. Now, I thought Matt was a nice guy, but I wasn't really attracted to him. He wasn't really my type. He was a little too girly for me. I like manly men. Anyways, the date went as well as expected. We walked around Greenlake and talked and he was nice, but I just wasn't feeling it.
After the date I went home and relaxed and checked my email. Matt had emailed me. In the email, he wished me the best of luck, but said we weren't a good match and that he wasn't attracted to me. WTF! Okay, so I felt the exact same way. I know I shouldn't care, but I do. I don't happen to think that I'm gorgeous, hot, or even beautiful. But I'm freakin' cute and even pretty when I put in some effort. So, what the hell? I happen to know that I am more attractive than this guy. I swear, I'm not being vain. If I had gone on a date with a very hot guy, I would not have been surprised by this response. In fact, I prefer to date guys who are not as good looking as me for that very reason. My feelings were just hurt. Stupid guy. And I missed out on seeing J because I went out with this guy. And J happens to think that I'm hot. My pride has been wounded, but I'll get over it.

I Vow...

I love my friends! I've been thinking about that "Sex and the City" episode where the girls decide to be each other's soulmates and men become just these nice guys to have fun with. I'm starting to think that way. I can just go out with guys and have fun and know that my girlfriends will always be there for me. Therefore, I vow to...

1) Never cancel plans with my girlfriends for a guy.
2) Occasionally cancel plans with a guy for my girlfriends and ALWAYS cancel plans with guys if my friends really need me.
3) Fill my social life with plans with my girlfriends every weekend.
4) Date lots of guys. NEVER settle for a guy that I just "kind of" like.
5) Always think of myself as the beautiful, smart, desirable, and strong woman that I am.
6) Be loyal to my family and friends.
7) Be courageous.
8) Be strong.
9) Never be someone I'm not.
10) Love myself.

Ahhhhhh! So much going on lately! So much drama! I hate drama, but it somehow always follows me. I got irritated with J yesterday. The truth of the matter is that J just can't give me what I need. I need a real relationship with a guy who can actually be there for me. J can't do that. So, unfortunately, it's just a matter of time before this "relationship" is over. I wonder if I can keep him as a friend? Not sure. In the meantime, I'll try to keep my mind off of my bad luck with guys and focus on getting healthy and spending time with my friends and my cool new roommate.

Withheld

I'm going to stop calling J "J" and I'm going to start calling him "Withheld". I'm going to call him Withheld because that's what his number comes up on my phone as. I just got off the phone with him and he hung up on me again! No, we didn't have a fight. We were just talking like everything was normal and "bam"... dial tone. WTF!!! He'll have some excuse of course, but will I buy it?
Wait, okay, he just texted me. His phone died. Should I believe it? There was a weird beep before the phone went dead. Crap!!!